What really is a family?

In an article titled The Family Endures a look at Utah History Philip Notarianni states that “families help their members survive and prosper socially, culturally, and spiritually.” I would like to take that statement and expound on it for a minute.  (Notarianni) In this article Notarianni looks at several different cultures to identify family definitions. While I find his work very informative, I would like to add my definition of a family with I small statement that the family you choose is often more fun than the one you are born to.

If families are the institutions where we learn our core values and where we receive the support necessary to endure life’s trials then perhaps the community in which we live could be considered a family as well. In my work with a part of society that could be considered unacceptable, I have found that many of these young people are raised in circumstances that do not afford them the support of family as defined by Notarianni.

As I read the "Out Home": The Cultural Landscape of Park Valley, Utah article by Rosa Thornley, I was touched by the value that the community family can have in our lives. (Thornley) Looking at my own life, I can assure you that most of the values and strengths that I have developed to help me thrive and prosper socially, culturally or spiritually either came from my religious family or my community family and not my biological family. Each of us has the opportunity to both assist others and become a part of their community family and to accept support and guidance from others as we develop our own strengths.

                I have been blessed to have had so many “brothers and sisters” and several sets of “moms and dads” who have helped me to survive and to thrive in my life. My children have multiple sets of “parents” who have embraced them and helped them to grow. How grateful I am to live in a culture that allows these relationships to exist and does not require that I feel a failure as a parent because others have helped to mold my kids. A family really is defined by those who are willing to use the skills and resources that they have to “help their members survive and prosper socially, culturally, and spiritually.” (Notarianni)

Works Cited

Notarianni, Philip. Utah State. Utah State Historical Society.Beehive history 25. Utah State Historical Society, 1999. Print.

Thornley, Rosa. Utah State University. English 2010 curriculum.  "Out Home": The Cultural Landscape of Park Valley, Utah 2013

Redneck Christmas

This post is supposed to be the result of interviews with family members about gathering together for a traditional meal. If you know me or my family (loosely used term), you know that there is nothing so organized as to be considered traditional. The closest that we come to meeting this criteria would have to be Christmas Eve.  

Twenty three years ago, I was working with an organization involving Hispanic people. As Christmas approached, it came to my attention that many of these people had no family with whom to share the holiday. Closer inspection soon revealed that this was not a uniquely Hispanic issue. I had many friends in similar circumstances. As luck would have it, we had experiences a tragedy of sorts in our home that year as a pipe had broken in the upstairs bathroom and had run water all night long. We were still in the process of repairing the house so our living room/dining room area was free of furniture.

Talking with my wife, we decided to invite everyone who might enjoy a place to spend Christmas Eve to come to our house for supper. We set up three eight foot tables and chairs for twenty four to sit. Little did we know that there would be almost seventy people show up. It was so much fun even though there were communication challenges. Some went home and brought back musical instruments and many had to sit on the floor as we talked and listened to music in multiple genres.

Much to our delight, our children loved it. The results exceeded our highest expectations and there were a lot of tears of joy and gratitude expressed as the evening came to a close. We moved to the gymnasium of the church nearby the next year. AT times there have been in excess of three hundred people and sometimes as few as fifty or sixty.

In my interview I was informed that at least one son and his wife had thought of starting their own tradition for the holiday. Another son quickly chimed in that he would be carrying on this tradition even if no one else in the family wanted to. Some commented on the new idiosyncrasies that have been added. One I really enjoy is that we make a gift for our grandson who passed away and that gift is then donated to a homeless shelter.

For many years my wife and I would slip away in the middle and Santa would show up while the party went on. When we returned home as a family the presents were amazingly beneath the tree! It took a little effort to stay up opening presents until two or three in the morning but sleeping in on Christmas day was nice. This tradition has been modified due to the kids all growing up and getting married and now having grand kids. We now do a family gift exchange. This interview has now started talk of doing the gift exchange as a Christmas in July.

There are few rules for this tradition. There will be no agenda or schedule. People bring whatever food they want to share. Me and my family are the only ones allowed to clean up the facility. The greatest part of this assignment was getting to hear all of the wonderful memories that have been created for my family. Thanks to all who have or who will attend and shared Christmas Eve with my “Family”. 

This Blog is to reflect on a Family Legend or song or prank or something that is a part of our family that endures and is continued. Because my family is splintered in some ways, many of our family traditions and legends are not so old as in other families. My children made me a blanket for Christmas a few years ago and the blocks contain sayings or reminders of this old man. Some of them, like "shortcut", will have no meaning to others. To my family they are very much a part of who we are. I have chosen a tradition that is repeated year after year with my boys and now with their families. In the fall of the year, as the sunflowers reach their prime, we pick sunflowers and then we get on one knee and we sing " You are my Sunshine, My only Sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, How much I love you. Please don't take my Sunshine away."

This picture is a Teddy Bear Sunflower. It has multiple levels of importance. First, this tradition has caused my beautiful wife Lesa to become fascinated with sunflowers of all kinds. She grows many varieties each year and uses them to decorate about anything. This particular species was found in Cortes, Colorado on a family outing. It contains several layers of significance. These flowers are short and fluffy. The actual flower is very full and we have found that they only enjoy a couple of weeks of vitality. They also remind Lesa of a wonderful outing enjoyed with our kids and grand kids.

This particular species is called a Chocolate Sunflower. It is very large and as it matures, the leaves begin to take on brown colors and the seeds are a brown color as well. Anything that draws attention to sunflowers is a good thing. One year we decided to spread the joy so we went to several widows homes and sang for them after presenting a sunflower from each member of the family. Judging from all the smiles and tears of joy, I believe that it was a great success!

It has become so ingrained into our family fiber that the past few years my wife has received metal artistic sunflowers for Mothers Day. These are just a couple of ones she has been given. This tradition has so much meaning that it is most common to take sunflowers as the flower of choice to place on graves of family members that have passed away. Perhaps the reason that this has taken hold so strongly with my family is because of how much love there is for Lesa and when her family sees the joy this brings to her, they automatically want to repay all that she does for us by making her a little bit happier with a sunflower. Any way you look at it, this is a tradition that I hope lives on for many years in my family.

The  Legend of Graves Creek

            As a young man growing up on a dairy farm in Idaho, one of my favorite memories was when the chores were finished and we would end up in my grandmothers’ living room listening to my grandfather and my uncles and my father tell stories of their days gone by. Many of these stories were centered in a remote mountain valley called Graves Creek. My parents spent the summer there when they first got married and it is possible that I came to be there as well.

There was no home for my parents so they slept in a granary. The story is told of how they would drive the old cat tractor well into the night and being newlyweds with nothing else to do my mother would end up riding on the tractor with my dad. Instead of headlamps as we now have, there were head lanterns on this tractor and they put out a much less focused beam of light. The result was that they often reflected off the eyes of any wildlife that was near the tractor.

The story goes that there was a cougar that seemed fixated on following them around and keeping them in constant fear. Eventually the cougar would win out and they would park the tractor for the night and go sleep in the granary.

For many years this mountain valley remained a mystery to me and all I had was visions created in my mind. This summer my eyes were opened! My wife and I ended up staying in a condo in Lava Hot Springs thanks to a dear friend. One day we decided to take another back road and drove past Chesterfield Reservoir on a little dirt road that took us through the Fort Hall Indian Reservation. To say that this was just a little dirt road was probably an exaggeration! Two lines drawn in the dirt might be more accurate. This road led us up through a mountain valley that was mostly sage brush and grass on the bottom with the Portnuef creek running down the bottom. As the mountain got higher you could see trees engulfed with the colors of autumn. There was an old abandoned home in the middle of no where that offered false hope that we might be approaching civilization. Not true. The road continued on forever.

Just as we were about to declare ourselves lost we came upon an older gentleman leaning upon his pickup, parked on the side of the trail. Out of desperation, I pulled over and asked if he knew how to get to Graves Creek. He asked why I wanted to go there. When I replied that it was a place of historical value to my family. His reply stunned me. “What are you? A Womack?” I answered that I was and he said that he knew my grandparents and my great-grandparents. How cool was that?! He gave us directions and we eventually found ourselves on Grave Creek Road. There in the middle of this desolate little valley stood an old granary. There were not trees as I had pictured in my mind but rather a light covering of grass with very few sage brushes growing out across this barren valley. Family had lived her for months at a time.

It was not how I had pictured it but I could hear the stories echoing in my brain as we stopped to take pictures of that building and any other building in the valley. The next step of the journey was to see just how far it would have been to drive the cattle home at the end of the season to spend the winter in more developed settings. That day we drove well over one hundred miles on dirt and gravel until we eventually came out of the mountain and drove into Blackfoot Idaho. Once there it was impossible to pass by the cemetery without stopping to see the grave sights of those amazing ancestors who had the strength and fortitude to endure these hardships just to provide for family. The legend had become real!

In the spring of 2013 we found ourselves really missing my second son and his family who are stationed at Fort Bliss in El Paso, Texas. It is a brief sixteen hour drive from here to El Paso and surprisingly, it is the same distance from there to here in Utah. Searching for a solution, we decided that Cortez, Colorado was as close to the middle as we could get. Some investigation found Mesa Verde which is a park with amazing cliff dwellings. This picture was taken by the park ranger that we ran into on our way down to this ruins. The fun part of this picture is who you do not see but were actually there. There were two pregnant ladies in this picture and we have since welcome a wonderful little grandson and a delightful little granddaughter.

There are many cool aspects of this photo. Little Sydney tucked inside of Stetsens' coat is a doll and being kept warm. Kelton is being funny and posing for his police photo. Darren is trying to remain incognito and all are just trying not to freeze. for me the most interesting aspect of this photo is that even though we drove hundreds of miles and hiked down to ruins that are thousands of years old and perhaps a little six month old girl may be what draws your attention first. To the random observer, this is just a picture of a family visiting a park but in our redneck world, this is a family outing that required much sacrifice to get there and then was filled with life long lasting memories.

Recipe

 Kirt Womack

Rosa Thornley

English 2010

1 October 2013

 Recipe for Dutch oven Zucchini Potatoes

10 Pounds potatoes

4 Yellow onions

1 Large Zucchini

2 Tablespoons Garlic salt

2 Tablespoons season salt

1 Teaspoon Cumin

2 Frozen sausage sticks

1 Can cream of mushroom soup

1 pound grated cheese of your choice

Start by pealing the potatoes and slicing them approximately ¼ thick and place the first half of potatoes in a 12 inch Dutch oven pan. Sprinkle with some of each of the seasonings. Add the Zucchini sliced the same way as the potatoes and ad them to the pan. Spread the mushroom soup over the top of the Zucchini and sprinkle seasoning over the soup. Slice the sausage sticks up in pieces according to your taste and spread them out on top of the soup. Then add the remaining potatoes and seasoning to the pan. Add two cups of water and place the lid on the pan. I personally like to cook these in my oven which I have preheated to 400 degrees. Cook the potatoes for about one hour or until a fork passes through the potatoes easily. I then sprinkle the cheese that has been grated evenly over the contents of the pan. I replace the lid but do not return the pan to the oven as the internal heat is sufficient to melt the cheese.

            It is amazing to taste just how much the Zucchini takes on the flavor of all the ingredients and makes them even moister without being runny. This recipe is a true artifact because I never follow recipes and my children will proclaim that I never make the potatoes the same two times in a row.

My whole life I have been a gardener. When my business went under and we lost our home, we found ourselves living in a trailer park. Not much room for a garden! Not to be left out of my hobby, I talked to the owner of the field across the street and he allowed me to garden on the ditch bank. With limited space I had to be creative so I built these bad boys out of old pallets. There is a piece of weed barrier material holding the soil and I installed a drip system for irrigation.

 Just to be a little bit creative, we put a cheap Walmart .99 cent solar light on the top of each pallet and at night it looks like an airport runway.

 To best utilize the space a put a tire on top of weed barrier and planted a tomato plant between each pallet inside the tire. Just twelve plants and we grew enough tomatoes last year to can over 100 quarts of salsa and still give many tomatoes to the neighbors down the street that live in apartment buildings.